"Good-bye 2007! Hello 2008".

2007 Oh! What a year it has been for my family.

I taught 2006 is really a bad year for me loosing my only brother and my grandma. My only brother's death is like a bullet train crushing into my heart.

Well '07 is a real nightmare, emotionally challenged, roller coaster year.

My heart is like it had been stabbed by a thousand daggers, still bleeding yet beating away! that's what '07 is like for me.

Over the months the daggers are out but the scars remained. You need to have a strong heart to help your child through cancer.

HE BEARS THE SCARS THAT ARE VISIBLE, MINE IS SCARRED INSIDE!

I use to make a list of new year resolutions year after year, from having more money to loosing weight and so on and so forth.

Reflecting back, year after year its the same resolution! It never materialised so ironically you make the same one very year.

I try to recall what resolutions have I really made for '07....honestly I can't remember. How many of you can?

This coming 2008 ,I have to be strong and courageous.

Without courage you're not living, you're hiding!.

Courage is what moves you forward; it's the muscle that makes your faith work. Faith by itself can be nothing more than a set of beliefs.

Courage is what activates those beliefs.

MY NEW YEAR RESOLUTION :- "BE COURAGEOUS"

Who cares about problems they come and go, year in year out.Without them we are out of this world...having problems denotes we are alive, so welcome problem, have the courage to face them and solve them and move on.

Hello 2008 ! Its another year to put things right and livestrong.

The Beautiful Glamorous Face of Pakistan - Benazir Bhutto

We always remember her famous gestures......beautifully adjusting her head scarf

I was shocked to hear of Benazir Bhutto death.She was killed in a bomb blast.Her life indeed was cut short. She is only 54 years old.
Being half Pakistani myself, I have always admired her tenacity and being the first woman to lead a Muslim nation in modern times.We often teased our youngest sister as Benazir Bhutto lookalike. She indeed have an uncanny resemblance.
I remembered clearly she was a feminist heroine.In the early years in her campaigns, she advocated new services for women and opposed sexual discrimination, during her tenure as president. Serving two terms as prime minister between 1988 and 1996.
She was respected in the West for her liberal outlook and determination to combat Islamic extremism. For me I respected her as a woman who gave ordinary person a voice !.
She is indeed a very brave woman.

Benazir Bhutto Assassinated - RIP
1953-2007



Pakistani Tradition ----Continuing the family dynasty
Bilawal Bhutto
Benazir Bhutto's son Bilawal , 19-year-old Oxford University Student with no political experience has been made the leader of the PPP. He has now reportedly decided to go ahead and contest the January 8th elections extending Pakistan's most enduring political dynasty .
My blessing for this young man.

Doxorubicin (pronounced docks-e-rou-bi-sin) last cycle on boxing day. It has been a long haul.

24th Wedding Anniversary on the 24th of December

I was married on the 24th December 1983. For the past 23 years its always a big celebration with friends and relatives either in Ipoh or in Kuala Lumpur.Today we celebrate 24 years of wedded bliss with our 3 sons at our christchurch home.

Second son made a nutritious and healthy breakfast .....Toasted Seed and Grain bread with olive oil and manuka honey.

Hubby cooked lunch..... Lobster noodles


As for dinner we are in for a surprised menu arranged and cooked by our 3 sons. Got to go dinner is being served. Bon Appetit !

After watching "Hells Kitchen" on television ,The boys creating hell in our kitchen. Note the recipe book!

The youngest baby , he's camera shy. He made a fabulous starter " Oven baked Portebello Mushrooms " really fabulous, simply unforgettable!.

AS THE SAYING GOES " To dream of mushrooms denotes fleeting happiness, to dream you are gathering them, fickleness in a lover"



The end result.....Boneless Steak with potato wedges. Real yummy..as its cooked with love.

Dessert...Strawberries on stracciatella classics ice cream with fresh cream. ( just melt in the mouth)


" Cooking for someone is like love....it should be entered into with abandon, or not at all"

Season's Greetings

All Relatives, Friends and Bloggers
Here's wishing you & family ,a "Blessed Christmas" and may the New Year bring good health, happiness, love and peace to you and family.
Merry Christmas

And

A Happy New Year
Another year for us to get things right!!

Keeping a Journal

I came across an article on "How to Keep a Journal" audio series by Jim Rohn. I am so convinced that I have started keeping a proper journal today.I like to share and below is an excerpts from "How to Keep a Journal" audio series by Jim Rohn.

Keeping a Journal- One of the Three Treasure to Leave Behind If you're serious about becoming a wealthy, powerful, sophisticated, healthy, influential, cultured and unique individual, keep a journal. Don't trust your memory. When you listen to something valuable, write it down. When you come across something important, write it down.

I used to take notes on pieces of paper and torn-off corners and backs of old envelopes. I wrote ideas on restaurant placemats. On long sheets, narrow sheets and little sheets and pieces of paper thrown in a drawer. Then I found out that the best way to organize those ideas is to keep a journal. I've been keeping these journals since the age of twenty-five. The discipline makes up a valuable part of my learning, and the journals are a valuable part of my library.

I am a buyer of blank books. Kids find it interesting that I would buy a blank book. They say, "Twenty-six dollars for a blank book! Why would you pay that?" The reason I pay twenty-six dollars is to challenge myself to find something worth twenty-six dollars to put in there. All my journals are private, but if you ever got a hold of one of them, you wouldn't have to look very far to discover it is worth more than twenty-six dollars.

I must admit, if you got a glimpse of my journals, you'd have to say that I am a serious student. I'm not just committed to my craft; I'm committed to life, committed to learning new concepts and skills. I want to see what I can do with seed, soil, sunshine and rain to turn them into the building blocks of a productive life.

Keeping a journal is so important. I call it one of the three treasures to leave behind for the next generation. In fact, future generations will find these three treasures far more valuable than your furniture.

The first treasure is your pictures. Take a lot of pictures. Don't be lazy in capturing the event. How long does it take to capture the event? A fraction of a second. How long does it take to miss the event? A fraction of a second. So don't miss the pictures. When you're gone, they'll keep the memories alive.

The second treasure is your library. This is the library that taught you, that instructed you, that helped you defend your ideals. It helped you develop a philosophy. It helped you become wealthy, powerful, healthy, sophisticated, and unique. It may have helped you conquer some disease. It may have helped you conquer poverty. It may have caused you to walk away from the ghetto. Your library -- the books that instructed you, fed your mind and fed your soul -- is one of the greatest gifts you can leave behind.

The third treasure is your journals: the ideas that you picked up, the information that you meticulously gathered. But of the three, journal writing is one of the greatest indications that you're a serious student. Taking pictures, that is pretty easy. Buying a book at a book store, that's pretty easy. It is a little more challenging to be a student of your own life, your own future, your own destiny. Take the time to keep notes and to keep a journal. You'll be so glad you did. What a treasure to leave behind when you go. What a treasure to enjoy today! by Jim Rohn

"Follow your instincts. That's where true wisdom manifests itself." Oprah Winfrey

Live your dreams... I am learning to!

Gone with the wind

Its 9.00 am , I turn on the TV just in time for the weather forecast. Wow! its 23 degrees and sunny all day.

Thank god! I don't have to use the dryer.I just loved to hang out my washing in the sun ,which I look forward to each day.

Back home, we take the sunshine for granted ,here it is a luxury. Now I understand why people love sun bathing when you don't get sun the whole year round.

Truly Malaysia is so blessed. I took my own sweet time hanging the clothes on the line at the same time enjoying the sun's warmth.

Three hours later I hear the howling sound of the wind through the garage door. I rushed out to bring the clothes in. You see I overlook to hear about the wind forecast for the day.


The southerlies was so violent and cold. The clothes were all flapping threatening to loosen from the clothes pegs.

As I struggle with my clothes I saw my favourite silk scarf blown away by the wind.I just stood helpless looking at it flying off.... so easily carried by the strong wind and floated away.

I watch with tears in my eyes. The hand painted Trengganu silk scarf was a momento given to me when I help launch the opening ceremony of Menara Maybank in the 80's.

Later , while folding the clothes my memories float back to those times. We work hard in the bank but we had fun. At least memories can't get blown away.

Yes, memories are so precious it will always stay with you. I remember my schooldays in the 60's and the 70's. friends of all races always gathered together in one big circle during recess time . We had our food , share our stories, understand and help each other. Those were real wonderful memories.Malaysians than, in general are not so rich as today but we were real happy.

In the 90's when I send my sons to school, I see many groups , the Malays one side, the Chinese one group and the Indians another. Rarely do you see a mixed group.

Who's fault.....the children, the teachers, the parents , the various medias??. I don't have the answer, But I personally taught my children that we are all humans and we are all Malaysians . We are one big family.

The scarf is gone my sweet memories remain!

Hickman line

The first Hickman line insterted in May was taken out end July due to "Enterovacter Aerogelas" Bacteria. Doses of antbiotics were not able to save the line. A second line was insterted , currently a new bug "Gram negative bacilli"is found and treated with antibiotics Tazocin ,Merrin IV AND TARGOCID. Temperature has been stable for 24 years. Praying for the line to be saved for the remainder of the treatments.

A Hickman line is an intravenous catheter most often used for the administration of chemotherapy or other medications, as well as for the withdrawal of blood for analysis

31 Years ago I stood up against Apartheid

In 1976 representing Malaysia and her multi cultural citizens, I boycotted the Miss World event too voiced against apartheid. The presence of a black Miss Africa South and a white Miss South Africa, caused 9 countries to withdraw their contestants in protest against South Africa's apartheid system.

I remembered the contestants were in tears when told to withdraw but I DID NOT. Although I am from a small country and, my voice is small but I am standing on a big platform, our actions - headlined in major dailies in 60 countries.

Now looking back, I had my regrets. I regretted not seeing that moment of time as my calling to continue to help championed for Human Rights with other worthy organisations.Instead I become an ordinary middle class Malaysian having a career and a family.I admire Marina Mahathir,( ex Prime Minister's daughter) for championing for Aids and cancer and for voicing up for all Malaysians in her column Musings. As the sayings goes " The Pen is mightier than the Sword!" She knows her calling.

Many had asked me even until today what is Apartheid. Apartheid means apart..ness in Afrikaans language.
The enactment of apartheid laws in 1948, racial discrimination was institutionalized. Race laws touched every aspect of social life, including a prohibition of marriage between non-whites and whites, and the sanctioning of ``white-only'' jobs.

In 1950, the Population Registration Act required that all South Africans be racially classified into one of three categories: white, black (African), or colored (of mixed decent). The colored category included major subgroups of Indians and Asians.


The laws restricted the limited right of black Africans to own land, entrenching the white minority's control of over 80 percent of South African land. Other laws prohibited most social contacts between the races; enforced the segregation of public facilities and the separation of educational standards; created race-specific job categories; restricted the powers of nonwhite unions; and curbed nonwhite participation in government.

Today I am temporarily - oceans apart from my homeland, yet I begin to feel for those who came in thousands in supporting Bresih (for electoral reforms to ensure that the next general election is clean, free and fair and the election results are not marred by electoral abuses, fraud and other malpractices) and Hindraf (Hindu Rights Action Force, highlight the political, social and economic backwardness of the Indian community in Malaysia).

I don’t know whether Hindraf will be successful in getting any
Compensation from the British, what I did know is internationally they are being heard and all are aware that despite a modernize Malaysia we have extreme poverty at our backyard under BN (Barisan Nasional). I salute all the thousands who got drenched by “water canon charge” chemical laced water and tear gas.
(Scene at Jalan Ampang, Kuala Lumpur)

Sometimes I wonder about the expensive taxi fare (RM100m) to send one person to space recently, that sum could have uplifted thousands of families!!!.

I am impacted by these events. For months I have put up a strong front fighting a battle in my household … Cancer. I am beginning to burnout, tired being a caregiver, while trying to get some motivation within family circles to keep going. Ironically seeing pictures of the thousands of Malaysians coming together gave me renewed strength. I know we will win the war soon! 4 more treatment and a surgery.
Then life will change for me…….. for sure I will know my calling this time round.